Dating Expert



Being in an abusive relationship can mess up your overall well-being. Not only does it have a disastrous impact on your mental health, but it also affects your perception of yourself. An abusive relationship does not necessarily mean being subject to domestic violence. It can indicate emotional abuse as well.


Recognizing an abusive relationship is vital. Only when you know the catastrophe you are in you can escape it. However, most people find it hard to spot when a relationship gets abusive. They are trained to think red flags are typical in any relationship. As a result, they get stuck in a never-ending loop of emotional distress.


You can read on to find out whether or not you are in an abusive relationship. To further assist my readers, I have also mentioned ways for them to leave their traumatic pasts behind and start afresh.


How to Know if You’re in an Abusive Relationship?


As I mentioned, an abusive relationship does not necessarily indicate physical abuse. It can even be those activities that you may pay little or no heed to. Thus, when those activities happen frequently, they form a spiral of continuous agony.


Emotional abuse is hidden in everyday gestures that may often pass your surveillance. These include humiliation by your partner. Being insulted or criticized in public or belittled by your partner are examples of humiliation.


In addition, controlling behavior where you are denied to act according to your will is another sign of toxicity. This can be seen through extreme possessiveness and jealousy, or a need to be in charge of everything.


An abusive relationship can also be spotted through neglect. Not talking to your partner, turning other people against you, and showing no affection whatsoever.


It is essential that all these signs are acted upon instead of being ignored.


Why is it Hard to Leave an Abusive Relationship?

The main reason people cannot walk out of an abusive relationship is societal norms. Society has portrayed such toxic behavior as a normal part of a relationship. Thus, the victim is always made to feel like they are overreacting if they wish to step out.


Another reason why most people fear leaving an abusive relationship is the after-effects. Individuals, especially women, are threatened if they wish to get out of a relationship. Their ex-partners even kill them for taking this path.


Lastly, an abusive relationship drains every ounce of happiness in you. Hence, people feel that they will never be able to find happiness again. Having a new start is, therefore, often regarded as futile.


How to Heal From Abusive Relationships?

Although you may feel like your chances of finding happiness are lost, that may not necessarily be the case. Healing from abusive relationships is possible. I have highlighted a few ways below that may help you come out of the self-pitying phase.


An abusive relationship snatches any sense of self-worth from you. Thus, it is vital to start rebuilding yourself. Focus on yourself. Invest time and money in yourself. Seek self-love and admiration before demanding it from someone else. Spend time with your favorite hobbies or things you take an active interest in. Concentrate on activities that make you happy and spend most of your time doing them.


Another way to get over abusive relationship is to start dating again. This may sound hard considering the emotional baggage that your abusive relationship left you with. However, it is not impossible. Just because your first relationship did not work out does not mean your second one will also be bad. You may even end up being in a relationship that will eradicate every burden of your past and brush your life with shades of happiness.


10 Tips to Start Dating After Abuse


Dating after abusive relationship can appear to be the most complicated task. But if you are willing to do it, nothing can come between you and your happiness. I have prepared the most helpful tips to start dating after abuse for my readers. Follow the tips and pave the way for a new journey.


1.    Heal From Your Past


Brooding over unpleasant memories will never allow you to move forward. Reminding yourself of past traumas is essential if you want to move forward. If you carry those awful memories into the future, you are shutting the door of happiness for yourself.


2.    Take Things Slow


Take your time to get to know the other person. The moment you spot any toxic behavior in them, detach yourself.


3.    Know What Sets You Off


There are specific trigger points for most people who have come out of an abusive relationship. The worst part about this is that any encounter with them can lead to a panic attack. Your new partner may be taken aback by such behavior. Thus, it is crucial that you both are aware of the triggers.


4.    Seek Help


Unfortunately, an abusive relationship can instill psychological stress within you. Before getting into a new relationship, getting rid of such stress is wise. This can most conveniently be done by seeking the help of a therapist.


5.    Rely on Your Support System


Your immediate support system is your loved ones. This can be anyone from your family to friends. They are the people who contribute positivity to your life. An abusive relationship can take you away from such people. Therefore, surrounding yourself with these people gets all the more essential. Once you feel good about yourself, you can start dating after domestic violence.


6.    Self Care, Self Care, Self Care


Being able to love someone else can only come through loving yourself first. Dating after emotional abuse is challenging. Thus, prioritize self-care. Treat yourself to delicious meals and evenings with loved ones. Spoil yourself and focus on loving yourself before you love someone else.


7.    Learn to Trust


Battling trust issues gets hard when looking for love after abuse. You constantly find yourself comparing your new partner with the old one. Thus, trusting them becomes impossible. In such a scenario, remind yourself that a healthy relationship cannot be achieved without trust.


8.    Share your Abusive Past


Once your potential partner is aware of your abusive past, it becomes easy for them to understand you better. This way, they can be more patient and willing to help you.


9.    Learn to Differentiate Between Healthy and Abusive Relationship


To establish a healthy relationship after abuse, you need to be clear on the difference between a healthy and abusive relationship. This way, you know what is intolerable and what to expect from a relationship.


10.        Know What You Want


Be clear about what you want and what you will not tolerate. It is alright to keep boundaries until you find the right one.




Most people are wary about finding a relationship after abuse. But if you are sure about doing so, keep a few things in mind. While it is vital to learn from the past, it is not wise to be stuck to it. Invest efforts to break from the chains of horror from your past. Only when you have been able to do this, you can start looking ahead with a fresh mindset.


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